The Little Merghost
by JackandDannysGirl
Summary: This is a cross between The Little Mermaid and Danny Phantom. It's the DP characters and my characters playing the roles of the Little Mermaid characters. So read, enjoy, and don't make fun of how bad this is.
1. Part 1

This my characters and the Danny Phantom characters playing the roles of The Little Mermaid. I rated it Teen 'cause there is some cussing. If you don't like the cussing it's a little late for that now so sorry. The cast of this little production includes:

Diana as Ariel

Kelly, Whittany, Terra, Cat, Michael, and Hadon as Ariel's sisters/brothers

Maddie as Carlotta

The two Vulture ghosts as Flotsam and Jetsam

Mr. Lancer as Grimsby

Cujo as Max

Alex as Eric

Anthony as Scuttle

Julia as Sebastian

Danny as King Triton (Ha!)

Vlad as Ursula (Again HA!)

Jack as Chef Louie

and Desiree as Vanessa

On a last note The Little Mermaid and all of its characters belongs to the Disney company people, Danny Phantom and all of its characters belong to Mr. Butch Hartman, and the rest of the characters that you probably don't recognize belongs to me. Ok that's it. I'm done. :-D

* * *

(It's a bright sunny day on the ocean. Pelicans are flying high in the sky and dolphins are jumping in and out of the water following a huge ship. On the ship sailors are working and singing to pass the time.) 

Sailor: I'll tell you a tale of the bottomless blue

And it's hey to the starboard, heave ho-

Alex: (interupting the sailor) Enough with the singing all ready!

Sailor: Sorry Prince Alex. Ah, isn't it a fine day to be out at sea?

Alex: Um, sure. Why not.

Sailor: Aren't you enjoying yourself Prince Alex?

Alex: No. I'm stuck on a ship surrounded by total nitwits singing old pirate songs for hours on end. Do you find that enjoying captain? Oh wait you do since you're the nitwit that started the whole "Hey, lets start singing old pirate songs" thing. Why am I even on this crappy excuse of a boat anyway? It's not even mine!

Sailor: It's your father's ship Sir.

Alex: What father? I don't have any onscreen parents!

Sailor: Yeah whatever.

Alex: (looks over at Mr. Lancer who is puking over the side of the ship) How ya holdin up there buddy?

Mr. Lancer: Not so good. But thank you for your consideration. (continues puking)

Alex: Well it looks like you've got this thing covered so I'm just gonna go now. (walks away and comes over to Sailor) Well Lancer's throwing up so it looks like I'm stuck talking to you again.

(a strong gust of wind blows)

Sailor: Aw, a fine strong wind and a following sea. King Phantom must be in a good mood today.

Alex: King Phantom?

Sailor: The king of the sea.

Alex: Who?

Sailor: The ruler of the merpeople.

Alex: I don't follow.

Mr. Lancer: Merpeople? Alex don't listen to this nautical nonsence!

Alex: Quit quoting Spongebob Squarepants! I hate that show!

Mr. Lancer: Sorry.

Alex: Yeah you better be!

(cuts to the bottom of the ocean. Fish and merpeople swim to an undersea castle and file into a theater for a concert. The room is filled with talking. A little seahorse swims onto stage.)

Seahorse: Can I have everyone's attention please? (nobody is listening) Attention please! (talking continues) I SAID SHUT UP! (the room becomes silent) Thank ya! Ok. Now presenting King Phantom!

(Danny comes in riding a giant seahorse to loud cheering. Danny gets off the seahorse and takes his seat.)

Seahorse: And now presenting the distinguished court composer Julia!

(Julia walks in but no one is cheering.)

Julia: Oh fuck all ya'll straight to hell!

Danny: Julia.

Julia: What? (looks over to see that it's Danny) Oh hi!

Danny: I'm looking forward to this performance, Julia.

Julia: Oh, Your Majesty, this will be the finest concert I have ever conducted. Just wait and see. Your children will be stars!

Danny: Oh they better be. Especially Diana.

Julia: Yeah, yeah. Everybody is aware that you like Diana best out of all of your seven children you know.

Danny: (gives Julia an angry look)

Julia: Just thought I should let you know. (Julia swims onto the stage and sets up the music on the podium and begins to conduct. Music starts and the curtain opens to reveal Kelly, Whittany, Terra, Michael, Hadon, and Cat sitting on giant seashells. They begin to sing.)

Kelly, Whittany, Terra, Michael, Hadon and Cat: Yes, we are the children of Phantom.

Great father who loves us and named us well:

Kelly, Whittany, Michael, Terra, Hadon, Catherine.

Cat: (yelling) It's Cat!

And then there is the youngest in her musical debut,

Our darling little sister, we're presenting her to you,

Her voice is just the bestest thing, she's as sweet as a banana,

She's our sister, Di-…Diana?

Kelly: Where'd she go?

Whittany: She was supposed to swim out from behind the curtain.

Danny: Diana! Where is she?

Michael: Not here.

Terra: We can all see that Einstein!

(cut to Diana swimming toward a sunken ship. Zachary is swimming far behind her.)

Zachary: Diana! Wait up! You're going too fast!

Diana: No you're going too slow! Now hurry up or I'm gonna let the sharks get you!

Zachary: No! Not again!

Diana: Well then hurry up! I see it!

Zachary: Why are we going in there?

Diana: Cuz it's fun. Plus it's better than going to that stupid concert. I'm sorry but Julia couldn't write music to save her life.

Zachary: Ha! Yeah.

Diana: Ok well I'm going in to look around. Are you coming or not?

Zachary: No.

Diana: Well ok. Bye!

Zachary: I changed my mind! I'm coming! (Diana swims through a porthole and gets inside the ship. Zachary gets stuck in the porthole.)

Zachary: Diana! Help! I'm stuck!

Diana: That's because you quite your diet you fatty! (pulls him out of the porthole)

Zachary: Whoa. This thing is huge.

Diana: I know. Oh! Look what I found! (picks up a fork from the floor) Isn't it awesome?

Zachary: What is it?

Diana: No idea. But Anthony will know.

Zachary: (sarcastically) Oh yeah cuz he knows everything!

Diana: You just wish that you were as smart as him! You're jealous! (finds a pipe on the ground) Ooh! Spiffy! (picks it up)

(a shark swims around the ship outside)

Zachary: Diana what was that?

Diana: What was what?

Zachary: That noise.

Diana: I didn't hear anything.

Zachary: Do ya think it might be some kind of fish molester?

Diana: No. No I don't.

(shark breaks into the ship)

Zachary: Aaaah! We're gonna die! We're gonna die! We're gonna die! Diana! We're gonna die!

Diana: (grabs Zachary) Swim Zach! Swim for your life!

Zachary: Diana what do we do?

Diana: Shut up! I'm trying to think! I got it! (she picks up a pointed piece of broken wood and throws it at the shark. The shark is cut and swims away.)

Zachary: Yes! You are Diana-Shark Slayer!

Diana: Well you know how I do.

(cut to the surface were Anthony is sitting on a rock looking through a telescope and humming to himself)

Diana: Anthony! We're back!

Anthony: OMG! Diana! Hey girl! How's my home dog doin?

Diana: Haha you're so funny Anthony now stop it.

Anthony: What? I'm just trying out the newest slang.

Diana: Yeah, what did I say about doing that?

Anthony: Not to?

Diana: Yup! Anyway check this stuff out. (Diana gives Anthony the fork and the pipe)

Anthony: Well that's some sweet shit you got there! (picks up the fork) Ooh! I haven't seen this thing in awhile!

Diana: What is it?

Anthony: It's a dinglehopper!

Zachary: A what?

Diana: You heard what he said. It's a dinglehopper! What does it do?

Anthony: I have no idea what so ever.

Diana: Well that's helpful. NOT!

Anthony: Well excuse me!

Zachary: Ok moving on! (points to the pipe) What's that thing?

Anthony: This, my fishy friend, is a snarfblat.

Zachary: Huh?

Anthony: A snarfblat. And I actually know what this does.

Diana: Well what does it do?

Anthony: I was getting to that. Anyway the snarfblat was created by humans to play beautiful music for them to dance like morons to. (Plows into the pipe and seaweed pops out the other end) Ew. Well it's supposed to anyway.

Diana: Music? Hmm, why does that make me think that I'm supposed to be somewhere right now?

Zachary: Because you are. The concert. That was today but you decided to blow it off.

Diana: Oh yeah! Well we should probably get going before Daddy finds out I'm not there. (takes the fork and pipe from Anthony) Thanks for all that Anthony!

Anthony: Ok Sweetie! TTYL!

Diana: Stop it! (her and Zachary dives underwater and swims home)

(cut to Vlad watching a magical projection of Diana in a crystal ball)

Vlad: Yeees, hurry home princess. We wouldn't want to miss Daddy's celebration now would we? Bah! Celebration indeed! How come he has so many parties all the freakin time? Doesn't he get bored of 'em?

Vulture ghost 1: This is King Danny Phantom we're talking about. I don't think he'd ever get tired of parties.

Vlad: That was a rhetorical question you idiot! Ugh! Back when I lived in the palace we had feasts all the time in MY honor! Now look at me! Banished, exiled, and wasting away into nothing while I watch him and his family celebrate for the most random occasions. I should be apart of those feasts and dances! Me! Why did Phantom even banish me in the first place?

Vulture ghost 2: Because you told him to go burn in hell.

Vlad: (glares at the vulture ghost)

Vulture ghost 2: Was that another rhetorical question?

Vlad: Yes but that doesn't matter. Soon I'll get Phantom's triton and I'll be king of the sea!

Vulture ghost 1: How are you gonna do that?

Vlad: I'm not telling you! It would ruin the surprise. All right boys, I want you to keep an eye on this sweet little daughter of his, for she is the key to Danny Phantom's undoing.


	2. Part 2

(fade to the palace throne room)

Danny: I just don't know what to do with you Diana.

Diana: Dad I said I was sorry-

Danny: Sorry isn't gonna cut it this time! This is like the 17th time you ditched a concert! You can't just keep doing that!

Diana: I've done it 17 times I assure you I can do it some more.

Julia: Well you're not going to! That concert was to be the pinnacle of my distinguished career. Now thanks to you I am the laughing stock of the entire kingdom! I hope you're happy!

Diana: Actually I am very happy.

Danny: Diana you do realize that I'm going to have to punish you right?

Zachary: But it wasn't her fault!

Julia: Oh really? Please explain.

Zachary: Well she would have been on time if it weren't for that shark.

Danny: Shark?

Zachary: Yeah but we were fine. Diana went all Shark Slayer on him and he swam away. And then if Anthony hadn't of kept going on and on about all those little trinkets Diana found-

Danny: Who's Anthony?

Zachary: A seagull.

Danny: Seagull? You went to the surface again didn't you?

Diana: Way to go Zachary.

Danny: So you DID go to the surface! Diana! I told you never to do that!

Diana: Chill Dad! Nothing happened.

Danny: Yeah well it could have! You could've been seen by one of those humans or worse! You could've been caught and been turned into tuna!

Diana: Like some human would want to turn such a pretty thing like me into tuna.

Danny: It could happen! That's why I'm forbidding you to go to the surface.

Diana: What? Dad! Quit treating me like a child!

Danny: You're 14 years old Diana. You ARE a child.

Diana: Yeah well I'm a responsible one! (Diana leaves, crying)

Julia: (sighs) Teenagers! So stubborn, so naïve. How could My Chemical Romance ever have written such an amazing song about them? It just doesn't make sense!

Danny: Do you think I was too hard on her? She's such a delicate thing.

Julia: Her? Delicate? I don't think so! Why Diana never listens to anyone and she just has to follow what she believes in! Why does she have to take after her mother?

Danny: (sighs) Sometimes I wish her mother was here. Diana needs a motherly figure to look up to.

Julia: Totally! She's just so out of hand these days. Why if she were my daughter I'd show her whose boss!

Danny: Really?

Julia: Oh course.

Danny: Diana does need constant supervision.

Julia: Damn right she does!

Danny: She needs someone to watch over her and to keep her out of trouble.

Julia: Oh yeah!

Danny: And YOU are just the crab to do it!

Julia: What? You can't be serious!

Danny: Oh I'm serious all right.

Julia: (groans)

(cut to Julia walking down a corridor)

Julia: How do I get myself into these situations? I should be doing more important things right now like going to the mall!

(Julia sees Diana and Zachary sneaking off and follows them)

Julia: What is she doing this time?

(Julia follows them into a cave and sees Diana's collection of human things)

Julia: Whoa.

Zachary: Diana are you okay?

Diana: Does it look like I'm okay to you?

Zachary: No.

Diana: That's because I'm NOT okay! Dad's being a jerk! He never listens to me! Never! (picks up a fork) Sometimes it seems like you're the only one that understands me. (kisses the fork)

Zachary: Diana, you're talking to a dinglehopper.

Diana: Don't judge me! Now if you don't mind I'm gonna break out into song.

(singing) Look at this stuff

Isn't it neat?

Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?

Zachary: Yes.

Diana: Well it's not!

(starts singing again) Wouldn't you think I'm the girl

The girl who has everything?

Look at this trove

Treasures untold

How many wonders can one cavern hold?

Zachary: Apparently a lot.

Diana: (singing) Lookin' around here you'd think

Sure, she's got everything

I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty

I've got whozits and whatzits galore

You want thingamabobs?

I got twenty

But no one cares

No big deal

I need more

I wanna be where the people are

I wanna see

Wanna see 'em dancin'

Walkin' around on those

(Whad'ya call 'em?)

Zachary: Uh, feet?

Diana: Oh yeah! singing Flippin' your fins you don't get too far

Legs are required for jumpin', dancin'

Strollin' along down a

What's that word again? No really what's that word? I forgot.

Zachary: A road?

Diana: Nope.

Zachary: An alleyway?

Diana: No that's not it.

Zachary: Um…a street?

Diana: That's it! (singing) Up where they walk

Up where they run

Up where they stay all day in the sun

Wanderin' free

Wish I could be

Part of that world

Zachary: Why?

Diana: Because I just do!

(singing) What would I give

If I could live

Outta these waters?

What would I pay

To spend a day

Warm on the sand?

Zachary: But there's sand down here.

Diana: Ignoring you! (singing) Betcha on land

They understand

Bet they don't reprimand their daughters

Zachary: What the heck does reprimand mean?

Diana: Shut up! (singing) Bright young women

Sick o' swimmin'

Ready to stand

And ready to know what the people know

Ask 'em my questions

And get some answers

What's a fire and why does it

What's the word?

Zachary: Um, glow?

Diana: Oh wait I got it. (singing) Burn? When's it my turn?

Wouldn't I love

Love to explore that shore above?

Out of the sea

Wish I could be

Part of that world

Julia: (taps on Diana's shoulder)

Diana: Oh hi Julia.

Julia: Diana, what is all this junk?

Diana: It's not junk! It's my collection thank you very much!

Julia: Oh, your collection. Well I gotta go rat you out now.

Zachary: What? Are you gonna tell the king?

Julia: Yup.

Diana: Julia don't! He would never understand! Plus he would kill me!

Julia: That's exactly why I'm gonna tell him. All this human stuff is corrupting your mind. It's not healthy. I think you might be sick. (grabs Diana's hand) Now come on. I'm gonna make a therapy appointment for you.

(a ship passes by overhead)

Diana: Hey, what's that? (swims toward the surface)

Julia: Diana? What are you doing? Juila and Zachary follow her

(On surface. Fireworks in the sky around ship. Diana looks on,

amazed. Julia and Zachary arrive.)

Julia: Diana what are you doing? (sees the ship and the fireworks) Holy crap! Diana! Get back here!

(Diana swims over to the ship and looks around. Cujo finds her and barks at her)

Alex: Cujo! Come here boy! (whistles.) Cujo runs over to Alex Hey boy, whatcha doin? (pets Cujo and Cujo licks him)

Diana: (stares at Alex) Whoa.

Anthony: Hey Diana! Whatcha doin here?

Diana: Spying on humans. Now go away.

Anthony: Oh cool! I want to be a spy!

Diana: Shut up! (continues to stare at Alex) Oh wow, isn't he cute? No, cute isn't the right word. He's hot!

Anthony: Which one? That really hairy one?

Diana: No, the blonde one petting the really hairy one. Oh I just want to go over there and run my fingers through his soft hair! His beautiful hair! And do you see his eyes? They're so…dreamy…

Anthony: Yeah, yeah, he's gorgeous. Now come on.

Diana: No way! I ain't leaving him now! I don't even now his name!

Mr. Lancer: Silence! Silence! It is now my honor and privilege to present our esteemed Prince Alex with a very special, very expensive, very large birthday present.

Anthony: You hear that? His name is Alex. Now let's go.

Diana: Shut up! I want to hear this!

Alex: Oh Lancer you shouldn't have.

(Large, gaudy statue of Alex is revealed. Cujo growls.)

Alex: No really Lancer, you shouldn't have. You really shouldn't have.

Mr. Lancer: But I specially ordered it myself! And there are no refunds so you better like it! Of course it was originally going to be a wedding present.

Alex: Don't start that again! I've had it with you and all your spiffy dressed friends saying I should get married to some spiffy dimwitted princess. If you think I'm going to marry some spoiled royal brat you can forget it! All the girls you made me date are all spoiled brats and they are never going to get any better.

Mr. Lancer: It's not just me and my 'spiffy' friends Alex. Your parents want you to-

Alex: Screw my parents!

(Lightning and thunder appear and the sky grows dark.)

Mr. Lancer: I think they heard you.

Alex: Crap.

Sailor: A hurricane's comin!

Alex: No duh! Everybody to their stations! If you don't remember what your station is then you're screwed 'cause I have no idea what they are. That's supposed to be your job.

Anthony: (the wind blows him away) Ah! Diana!

Diana: What?

Anthony: (being blown away) Nevermind…

(The ship crashes into a huge rock. Everyone is in lifeboats except for Alex and Cujo)

Mr. Lancer: Alex! Forget about the dog and get your butt in the boat!

Alex: Not listening! Cujo! Come here boy! (Cujo runs up to him. Alex picks him up) Ok boy, here's what you need to do. I'm gonna throw you into the boat and Mr. Lancer is going to catch you. Got that?

Cujo: (shakes his head and whines)

Alex: Quit complaining! You're getting in the boat! (throws Cujo into the boat)

Mr. Lancer: Alex! The ship is gonna blow up!

Alex: What? (sees a whole bunch of gunpowder barrels about to catch fire) Oh crap.

(ship explodes. Alex is nearly drowning when Diana finds him)

Diana: Oh my gawd! My hotty-hot prince is drowning! I can't let a beautiful thing like him die! (Diana grabs Alex and takes him to safety)

(cut to the beach. Diana is sitting next to an unconscious Alex)

Diana: Is he dead Anthony?

Anthony: It's hard to say. (puts his ear against Alex's foot) I don't hear a heartbeat.

Julia: That's not where his heart is moron!

Anthony: Nobody asked you!

Zachary: So is he dead or not?

Diana: No, look! He's breathing! Yay! He's so beautiful when he's out cold.

(singing) What would I give

To live where you are?

Julia: No! No singing! Stop it!

Diana: Shut up! I can sing whenever I want!

Alex: (wakes up and sits up next Diana and stares at her)

Diana: Uh…hi?

Alex: Hi…

Diana: Oh my gawd he talked to me!

Alex: What exactly are you? (looks at Diana's tail) Oh wow…

Diana: Sorry about this but- (hits Alex in the face and knocks him out) Bye! Diana swims away

(Mr. Lancer and Cujo run up to Alex and wake him up)

Mr. Lancer: Alex! There you are! I thought you'd been killed! (pulls Alex to his feet)

Alex: A girl- rescued me…no, she wasn't just a girl she was a mermaid! And then there was this-this seagull with sunglasses and-and there was this crab yelling at them…

Mr. Lancer: That's it, you're getting more therapy right now. Come on. (drags Alex inside the castle. Alex looks back at Diana sitting on a rock)

Alex: (rubs his eyes) Maybe I do need therapy.

Mr. Lancer: That's the spirit!

Julia: Ok, we're all just gonna forget about this. This whole thing never happened, you wanna know why? 'Cause I'm not gonna tell anybody and you're not gonna tell anybody. That way we'll all still have our lives.

Diana:

(singing) I don't know when

I don't know how

But I know something's starting right now-

Julia: Stop with the singing girl!

Diana: (groans)

(fade to Vlad watching a projection of Diana)

Vlad: Haha! I can't stand this! This is too easy! The little princess has fallen in love with a human prince!

Vulture ghost 2: How exactly is that a good thing?

Vlad: It's all just apart of my plan. You'll figure it out soon enough with any luck. Just wait till King Phantom finds out about his little girl's dirty little secret.


	3. Part 3

(fades to Diana's dressing room)

Kelly: Diana get out here! I need to fix my hair!

(Diana comes out humming to herself and smiling)

Terra: What is with her?

Kelly: What do mean? I don't see anything wrong.

(Danny comes in)

Diana: Morning Daddy! Isn't it just a great day? It's so good to be alive! (swims off singing to herself)

Kelly: Oh she's got it bad.

Danny: Got what? What has she got? Is she sick?!

Kelly: Chill Daddy, Diana's not sick. She's in love!

Danny: Diana? In love? Really? Could it be true? Oh my gosh it's finally happened!

(cut to Julia walking up to Diana who is sitting on a rock outside)

Julia: Diana what's wrong with you? You've been acting really weird every since you saved that guy.

Diana: (picking petals off of a flower) He loves me…he loves me not…he loves me…he loves me not…(notices that she ran out of petals and breaks the stem in half) He loves me! Yes!

Julia: Diana stop it. You know those things never work.

Diana: Don't care. (picks another flower) Oh guess what. I'm gonna see him again tonight. I know where he lives now and he knows what I look like.

Julia: Sorry to break it to you but he thinks you were just a hallucination. And most importantly he's human and you're not. Trust me, you're little fantasy is not gonna work out no matter what you do.

Diana: Still don't care. (picks petals off of the flower)

Julia: Fine. You apparently don't want to listen to me so I guess I'll just have to speak your language.

(singing) The seaweed is always greener

in somebody else's lake-

Diana: Quick question!

Julia: What?

Diana: How come you get to break out into song and I can't without you yelling at me?

Julia: Because I'm special that's why.

Diana: Oh yeah you're really special all right.

Julia: Can I finish my song or not?

Diana: Only if you'll let me break into song and not yell at me.

Julia: Fine.

Diana: Thank you.

Julia: But guess what.

Diana: What?

Julia: You don't sing any more songs in this thing.

Diana: I don't? What?

Julia: That's right!

Diana: I didn't know that! You tricked me! The deal's off!

Julia: You promised! No going back now! Now as I was saying-

(singing) The seaweed is always greener

In somebody else's lake

You dream about going up there

But that is a big mistake

Just look at the world around you

Right here on the ocean floor

Such wonderful things surround you

What more are you lookin' for?

Under the sea

Under the sea

Darling it's better

Down where it's wetter

Take it from me

Up on the shore they work all day

Out in the sun they slave away

While we devotin'

Full time to floatin'

Under the sea

Zachary: What is Julia doing?

Diana: Singing and thinking I'm actually listening to it.

Zachary: Well I was going to show you something but if you're busy-

Diana: No I'm not busy. Let's go! (leaves)

Julia: (singing) Each little snail here

Know how to wail here

That's why it's hotter

Under the water

Ya we're in luck here

Down in the muck here

Under the sea

(notices that Diana is gone) I'm gonna have to put a leash on her or something.

Seahorse: Julia! There you are! I've been looking all over for you! The sea king wants to see you.

Julia: What?

Seahorse: Yeah, he said it was something about Diana.

Julia: Oh shit he found out!

Seahorse: What was that?

Julia: What? I didn't say anything. Go away!

(cut to palace throne room. Julia is walking up to Danny sitting in his throne)

Danny: Let's see, now. . . . Oh, who could the lucky merman be? (Notices

Julia) Oh Julia! There you are. I need to speak with you.

Julia: (nervously) So I've heard.

Danny: Are you okay Julia?

Julia: (shaking nervously) Yeah! Totally! I'm just peachy!

Danny: Oh okay. Well anyway Julia I'm concerned with Diana. Have you noticed she's been acting weird lately?

Julia: Weird? No! Not at all!

Danny: Oh well everyone else has. I know you must have noticed.

Julia: Well I-

Danny: Julia, you don't have to hide it anymore. I know what's going on.

Julia: You-you do? Crap!

Danny: What was that?

Julia: Okay fine! I admit it! But just know it wasn't my idea at all! It was all her! Not me! I told her to stay away from him and that all that wouldn't work out and that you wouldn't like it and that you would find out sooner or later which you obviously did.

Danny: Found out what?

Julia: That she's in love with that human boy! Duh!

Danny: Human boy? WHAT HUMAN BOY?

Julia: Huh? I thought you-Oh! So you don't know! But I just told you didn't I?

Danny: Yup.

Julia: Crap.

(fade to Diana and Zachary entering Diana's human collection cave)

Diana: Okay Zachary, we're here. What do you want me to see?

Zachary: That. (points to the statue of Alex)

Diana: Zach! The statue! You found it! Oh I love it! And it looks just like him too. (swims over to the statue) It even has his eyes. His gorgeous brown eyes that you could just lose yourself in. (talking to the statue) Why, Alex, run away with you? Of course I would. What was that sweetie? Oh you bad boy…(turns around and sees Danny and Julia) Daddy! What are you doing here?

Danny: Julia told me.

Diana: Did she tell you the part about me saving that human?

Danny: Yes. She told me everything.

Diana: Julia! You said you wouldn't tell anybody!

Julia: I'm staying out of this.

Diana: That's the only smart decision you've ever made you backstabbing bitch!

Danny: She also told me that you talked to the human! Why on Earth did you do that? Contact between the human world and the mer-world is strictly forbidden. Diana, you know that! Everybody knows that! How could you be so stupid and forget that?

Diana: But I had to save him! He would of died if I didn't!

Danny: I don't care! It would be one less human to worry about.

Diana: You don't even know him!

Danny: I don't have to know him. They're all the same.

Diana: Aren't you the one that said that I shouldn't judge people?

Danny: This is different Diana!

Diana: No it's not! And guess what. I'm gonna run away and marry this guy and there's nothing you can do about!

Danny: No you're not! Have you lost your senses girl? He's a human, you're a mermaid! It'll never happen!

Julia: That's what I've been saying.

Diana: Shut up Julia!

Danny: Diana, I've had it with you. If this is the only way you're gonna get what I'm saying through your thick head then so be it! (takes out his triton)

Diana: Dad, what are you doing?

Danny: (starts blasting all of Diana's things)

Diana: Dad! Stop it! This is no way to get a point across! Ok fine! I'll listen to you! Just stop it!

Danny: (points his triton at the Alex statue)

Diana: Oh no… not that! Anything but Alex!

Danny: (blasts the statue)

Diana: (falls to the floor crying) I hate you Dad! I hate you all! I hope you die!

Julia: (to Danny) She doesn't mean that your majesty.

Diana: Yes I do!

Julia: Ok maybe she does.

(Danny leaves and Julia and Zachary try to comfort Diana)

Zachary: Diana, it's okay.

Diana: No it's not Zach. It's anything but okay.

Julia: Diana I-

Diana: No! I'm mad at you! Go away! (starts crying again)

Vulture ghost 1: Poor child.

Vulture ghost 2: Poor, sweet child.

Vulture ghost 1: She has a serious problem.

Vulture ghost 2: Very serious problem.

Diana: Hey shut up! I don't need therapy!

Vulture ghost 2: That's not what we're talking about.

Vulture ghost 1: We know what's wrong. And we know someone who can help you.

Diana: You do?

Vulture ghost 1: Yes. Vlad Plasmius the sorcerer.

Diana: What? Vlad? But I can't I-

Vulture ghost 2: Did we mention your appointment would be free of charge?

Diana: Free? As in I don't have to pay anything?

Vulture ghost 1 and 2: Yes.

Diana: Okay I'm in.

(cut to outside)

Zachary: Poor Diana. She's so sad right now. And it's all your fault Julia!

Julia: Oh shut up Zachary!

Zachary: No YOU shut up!

Julia: No, you!

Zachary: You!

Julia: YOU! (sees Diana pass by following the Vulture ghosts) Diana where are you going?

Diana: I'm going to see Vlad.

Julia: Vlad Plasmius?

Diana: How many other Vlads do you know?

Julia: Diana you can't! Vlad's crazy! No really! He is!

Diana: Well then why don't you go tell my father? You do that anyway!

Julia: Diana! Ugh! Zachary come on!

(They arrive at Vlad's cavern and go inside)

Vlad: Come in my dear.

Diana: Who the heck are you?

Vlad: Plasmius. Vlad Plasmius.

Diana: Why do you have tentacles?

Vlad: Because I'm half octopus that's why.

Diana: That's freaky.

Vlad: Do you want to be a human or not?

Diana: Yes please.

Vlad: Alright then. First I'll make a potion to give you legs and then you'll be with your prince forever.

Diana: Is there a catch here?

Vlad: Yup.

Diana: Should've guessed. Maybe I shouldn't have come.

Vlad: Oh honey, don't say that. Don't even think it! You need me. Helping poor unfortunate mer-folk is what I do. It's my specialty. Boys, play that funky music!

(Vulture ghost 1 starts playing electric guitar and Vulture ghost 2 starts playing drums)

Vlad: (singing) I admit that in the past I've been a nasty

They weren't kidding when they called me kinda strange

But you'll find that nowadays

I've mended all my ways

Repented, seen the light and made a change

And I fortunately know a little secret

It's a talent that I always have possessed

And here lately, please don't laugh

I use it on behalf

Of the miserable, lonely and depressed

Vulture ghost 1 and 2: Pathetic!

Poor unfortunate souls

In pain

In need

This one longing to be thinner

That one wants to get the girl

And do I help them?

Yes, indeed

Those poor unfortunate souls

So sad

So true

They come flocking to me crying,

"Will you help us, Vladdy, please!"

And I help them?

Yes, I do

Now it's happened once or twice

Someone couldn't pay the price

And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals

Yes, I've had the odd complaint

But on the whole I've been a saint

To those poor unfortunate souls

(speaking) Ok here's how it's gonna go down. First I'll make that potion I mentioned and it'll turn you into a human for three days.

Diana: Why three? In every movie the time limit is usually three days for something. What's the significance of three days? Why not a week?

Vlad: Shut it. Now listen closely, this is very important. Before the sun sets on the third day you gotta get this guy to kiss you.

Diana: The kiss of true love?

Vlad: What? No. He just needs to kiss you.

Diana: Could he kiss me on the cheek?

Vlad: No. It's gotta be on the lips.

Diana: But that sounds kinda hard.

Vlad: It won't be. Anyway, if he does kiss you before the sun sets on the third day you'll become a human for the rest of your life and you guys will live happily ever after.

Diana: Cool!

Vlad: I'm not done! But if he doesn't kiss you before the sun sets on the third day you'll turn back into a mermaid and you'll belong to me.

Diana: I'll be your slave?

Vlad: Yeah pretty much.

Diana: But I don't wanna be your slave.

Vlad: Well then get him to kiss you!

Diana: Fine. Jeez.

Vlad: So have we got a deal?

Julia: Diana don't!

Diana: I ain't listening to you anymore Julia. So I'm gonna do the exact opposite of what you tell me. Ok Vlad, we have a deal.

Julia: Why you little-

Vlad: Alright then. Oh, I almost forgot. We haven't discussed payment yet.

Diana: Payment? But you're little Vulture friends said this would be free of charge!

Vlad: Yeah. They're really good liars. Haven't you noticed?

Diana: Uh huh. Well what do you want from me?

Vlad: Not much, just your voice.

Diana: My voice? You ARE insane. You can't take my voice you creep!

Vlad: Do you want to be with your princey?

Diana: Yes! Yes I do!

Vlad: Then give me your voice.

Diana: Oh fine. But how are you gonna? -

Vlad: Oh don't worry about that. I've got it taken care of. Start the music again boys! (the Vulture ghosts begin to the play the instruments again)

(singing) The men up there don't like a lot of blabber

They think a girl who gossips is a bore

Yes, on land it's much preferred

For ladies not to say a word

And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?

They're not all that impressed with conversation

True gentlemen avoid it when they can

But they dote and swoon and fawn

On a lady who's withdrawn

It's she who holds her tongue who gets her man

Come on, you poor unfortunate soul

Go ahead!

Make your choice!

I'm a very busy person

And I haven't got all day

It won't cost much

Just your voice!

You poor unfortunate soul

It's sad

But true

If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet

You've got to pay the toll

Take a gulp and take a breath

And go ahead and sign the scroll!

Hey boys I think I got her now,

The boss is on a roll

(Diana signs the contract)

Vlad: Yes! You poor unfortunate soul.

In pain

In need

This one longing to be thinner

That one wants to get the girl

And do I help them?

Yes, indeed

Those poor unfortunate souls

So sad

So true

They come flocking to me crying,

"Will you help us, Vladdy, please!"

And I help them?

Yes, I do

You poor unfortunate soul

(speaking) Now sing!

Diana: Sing? What am I supposed to sing?

Vlad: It doesn't matter just sing anything.

Diana: But if I start singing Julia's gonna yell at me. Oh wait, she made that promise that I could sing whenever I wanted and not yell at me so I can sing. But Julia, you said that I didn't have any more songs! You lied again! You lied about lying you- (While Diana is talking Vlad takes her voice. Diana's lips are moving but no words come out. Diana realizes this and starts screaming but no sound is heard)

Vlad: I got it! Ok stand back! (throws a bottle of liquid at Diana and it breaks turning into a cloud of smoke. Diana is turned into a human and is carried to the surface by Julia and Zachary)


	4. Part 4

(fade to beach. Diana, Zachary, and Julia sit on the beach. Diana is fascinated with her new legs)

Julia: Wow. It worked. Vlad's potion actually worked.

(Anthony flies toward them)

Anthony: Hey guys. Wow Diana! You really look different. Did you get your haircut our something?

Julia: She has legs you asshole!

Anthony: Oh yeah. How did that happen?

Diana: (moves her lips as if to explain to Anthony but no words are heard. Diana realizes that her voice is actually gone and pulls on her hair in frustration)

Zachary: Diana traded her voice for legs from Vlad. And now she's gotta find that prince guy and he's gotta kiss her.

Anthony: Oh cool!

Julia: This is NOT cool! The king is probably looking for you Diana and if he finds out what you've done oh I'm gonna be dead for sure! That's it, we're going back to Vlad. Maybe there's still time. Maybe he can- (Diana smacks her) Ow! Fine! I'll help you!

Diana: (smiles happily)

Anthony: Okay, if you're gonna sweep that guy off his feet then you need a new wardrobe. (Picks up and old boat sail and raps it around Diana making a dress) Perfect! Now we just gotta-

(Cujo comes running toward Diana and barking at her. Diana runs behind a rock)

Alex: Cujo! Get back here! What are you? – (sees Diana) Oh. Um, hi. (looks at her closer) You seem really familiar. Have we met before somewhere?

Diana: (nods her head)

Alex: Really? I knew it! I knew it wasn't just my imagination! You really do exist! What's your name?

Diana: (mouths "Diana" but no words are heard. Diana hits the rock in frustration)

Alex: You can't talk?

Diana: (shakes her head)

Alex: Oh. Then you can't be who I thought you were.

Diana: (gives Alex a frustrated look. She waves her arms around trying to explain everything. She falls off the rock and Alex catches her)

Alex: Whoa! Careful! Jeez…I think you need help. Serious help. Come on, I have a therapist in my castle. I bet he can figure out what's wrong with you. (grabs Diana's hand and takes her to the castle)

Julia: She did it. She actually did it. I don't believe it.

Anthony: Stage one of operation "Get That Prince Guy to fall in Love with Diana", or operation G.T.P.G.F.L.D. for short, is complete!

Julia: I will never understand you.

(fade to Diana in the bath playing with bubbles)

Diana: (thinking) Bubbles, bubbles everywhere! I love bubbles!

Maddie: Washed up from a shipwreck. Oh, the poor thing. We'll have you

feeling better in no time. (Picks up Diana's "dress") I'll just - I'll just

get this washed for you. (hands it to a maid) Burn it. (Diana overhears Maddie)

Diana: (thinking) She just has no taste!

(cut to castle dinning room)

Mr. Lancer: Alex, please. This girl you keep talking about isn't real. You said she's a mermaid and mermaids aren't real. Get over it.

Alex: Never! I refuse to listen to you!

Mr. Lancer: You refuse to listen to anybody. But the fact is that you need to get married to somebody.

Alex: I'm 14 and people expect me to get married? What's the world coming to?!

Mr. Lancer: It's Disney, Alex. They all get married at a young age.

Alex: And they call this a family movie.

(Diana walks in wearing a beautiful dress)

Alex: Holy crap I think I'm in love!

Mr. Lancer: What about that mermaid that rescued you?

Alex: You're right Lancer, she was just a figment of my imagination. (walks over to Diana) You are sitting right next to me.

Diana: (thinking) Yes!

(cut to Julia in the kitchen watching chef Jack cook crabs)

Julia: (looks over at a dead crab) Sucks to be you buddy.

Jack: Looks over at Julia Hey, I missed one! (picks up Julia)

Julia: Oh no you don't! (pinches his nose)

Jack: Ow! (drops Julia. Julia runs across the floor) Get back here! If I don't cook you I won't get paid! (runs after Julia and starts hitting her with a rolling pin)

Julia: Shit!

Jack: Get back here! (crashes into a cabinet) Ow…(falls to the floor)

(Maddie walks into the kitchen)

Maddie: Jack! What are you doing?

Jack: Uh, cooking?

Maddie: (groans)

(cut to dinning room)

Mr. Lancer: I've got an idea Alex. How about you take our guest on a tour of the kingdom tomorrow. How does that sound my lady?

Diana: (nods head and smiles)

Alex: Lancer I don't know if she-(sees Diana smiling at him) Oh fine!

Diana: (thinking) Yay!

(Maddie puts plates on the table in front of them.)

Mr. Lancer: Oh good. I'm starving!

(Diana takes the lip off of her plate and sees Julia sitting there)

Diana: (thinking) WTF?!

Julia: Trust me, you don't want to know.

(Fade to Diana watching Alex and Cujo from balcony.)

(Alex is playing with Cujo. He looks up at Diana and waves. Diana waves back and goes back inside)

Julia: This has got to be, without a doubt, the single most humiliating day of my life. I hope you appreciate what I go through for you, young lady. Now - we got to make a plan to get that boy to kiss you. Tomorrow, when he takes you on the tour you gotta look your best and you gotta flirt like crazy. (Julia sees Diana is asleep.) You're hopeless Diana. Completely hopeless . . .

(Fade to undersea castle. The seahorse swims up to Danny)

Danny: Did you find them?

Seahorse: No. We haven't found any trace of them. They could be anywhere.

Danny: Well then keep looking! No one will rest until I find those creeps that took my pizza!

Seahorse: You do know that Diana, Julia, and Zachary are missing too right?

Danny: You know the rules, pizza first!

Seahorse: (sighs) Yes sire.

(Morning at castle. Diana and Alex leave for their tour. Diana is amazed by everything. They pass a river.)\

Zachary: Hey Julia, did he kiss her yet?

Julia: Nope.

(Diana and Alex pass a dance club. Diana motions for Alex to stop.)

Alex: Are you sure? I really don't dance.

Diana: (Pulls Alex inside)

Anthony: Hey Julia, did they kiss yet?

Julia: No! Now quit asking!

(The sun is setting and Alex and Diana are in a small boat of a lagoon.)

Zachary: What's taking him so long? Why hasn't he kissed Diana yet?

Julia: Because he's a dork that's why. He's probably never kissed a girl at all.

Zachary: Ha! Dork!

Anthony: There's only one day left. We're running out of time! Okay, now's the time to put stage two of operation G.T.P.G.F.L.D. into action!

Julia: And what would that be?

Anthony: A little romantic music that's what.

Zachary: Oh! That'll work!

Julia: You guys can do what you want. I don't even know why I'm helping Diana in the first place. I hate her guts.

Zachary: Just think Julia. If Diana is a human forever then you won't have to see or deal with her ever again.

Julia: Really? Okay, step aside amateurs. If they want romantic music I'll give it to 'em! Percussion! (nothing happens) I said percussion! (still nothing) Okay. Um, guitar!

(A fish pops out of the water playing a guitar)

Julia: That's more like it! Now for the words! And you can't do anything about it Diana!

Diana: (overhears Julia and sticks her tongue out at her)

Julia: (singing) There you see her

Sitting there across the way

She don't got a lot to say

But there's something about her

And you don't know why

But you're dying to try

You wanna kiss the girl

Alex: Did that mutant crab just talk to me?

Diana: (shakes her head while giggling)

Julia: Yes, you want her

Look at her, you know you do

Possible she wants you too

There is one way to ask her

It don't take a word

Not a single word

Go on and kiss the girl

(Alex leans in to kiss Diana put then backs away)

Julia: (starts laughing) Oh wow! He is a dork!

(singing) Sha la la la la la

My oh my

Look like the boy too shy

Ain't gonna kiss the girl

Sha la la la la la

Ain't that sad?

Ain't it a shame?

Too bad, he gonna miss the girl.

(speaking) Wait. He's gonna miss the girl. No! Why do I always get bad luck?!

Alex: You know what's really weird? I've spent the past two days with you and I still don't know your name. So I'm gonna try to guess okay?

Diana: (nods)

Alex: Okay, how about uh…Mildred?

Diana: (sticks her tongue out)

Alex: Okay then. Uh, Ashley? Tiffany?

Julia: Her name is Diana you idiot! Say Diana! Say it!

Alex: Shut up you mutant crab!

Julia: Oh you did not just- (Anthony grabs her)

Anthony: Keep it cool!

Julia: Oh I'm done with cool!

Alex: Uh, Cassidy?

Diana: (shakes her head)

Alex: Oh this'll take forever!

Diana: (mouthing "Diana" over and over)

Alex: What?

Diana: (mouths "D-I-A-N-A")

Alex: Brianna?

Diana: (shakes her head violently)

Alex: Uh…what ends in 'Anna'? Uh…Diana?

Diana: (nods her head)

Alex: Really? I got it? Awesome! But I was hoping your name was Cassidy.

Diana: (glares at him)

Alex: But Diana's nice too!

Julia: (singing) Now's your moment

Floating in a blue lagoon

Boy you better do it soon

No time will be better

She don't say a word

And she won't say a word

Until you kiss the girl

Sha la la la la la

Don't be scared

You got the mood prepared

Go on and kiss the girl

Sha la la la la la

Don't stop now

Don't try to hide it how

You want to kiss the girl

Sha la la la la la

Float along

And listen to the song

The song say kiss the girl

Sha la la la la

The music play

Do what the music say

You got to kiss the girl

You've got to kiss the girl

You wanna kiss the girl

You've gotta kiss the girl

Go on and kiss the girl

(Alex and Diana lean in to kiss each other put the boat tips over)

Diana: (Screaming but no sound is heard. She grabs onto Alex)

Alex: Don't worry it's shallow. You'll be okay. You're okay. (brushes a piece of Diana's hair away from her face and smiles at her. He carries Diana out of the lagoon)

Diana: (thinking) Crap! I was so close! And now I'm wet! (looks up at Alex still thinking) Oh but he's just so cute! He's carrying me! He actually cares about me!

(cut to Vlad's cavern)

Vlad: Nice work, boys. That was a close one. Too close. The little tramp! Oh, she's better than I thought. At this rate, he'll be kissing her by sunset for sure. Well, it's time I took matters into my own hands. That little mermaid will be mine – and then I'll take down Phantom! I'll see him wriggle like a worm on a hook!

Vulture ghost 1: You're gonna turn him into a worm?

Vlad: No! I'm going to do something worse!(Laughing, he transforms into Desiree with Diana's voice.)

Vulture ghost 2: Wow boss. I never knew you were like that.

Vlad/Desiree: Shut up!

(Fade to castle at night. Alex is playing the flute badly as Mr. Lancer approaches.)

Alex: Lancer, why did you make me learn how to play this thing in the first place?

Mr. Lancer: You said you wanted to learn how to play an instrument.

Alex: I meant something that I can actually play and is cooler. Like electric guitar.

Mr. Lancer: Your parents wouldn't allow that.

Alex: Another reason to hate them. (he throws the flute out the window. It hits Vlad/Desiree)

Desiree: Ow!

Alex: Sorry! (Falls under the spell) Whoa.

Desiree: Phase one complete.


	5. Part 5

(It's morning and Anthony flies to Diana's window)

Anthony: Diana! Wake up! Wake up! We did Diana! We did it!

Julia: What are you talking about you idiot?

Anthony: What am I talking about? What am I talking about?! How could you not know?!

Julia: Just tell us moron!

Anthony: The Prince is getting married this afternoon! He just announced it! Diana you did it! Our little Diana's gonna get married. How sweet! I think I'm gonna cry! (sniffles)

(Diana's face brightens and she runs downstairs to see Mr. Lancer, Alex, and Desiree)

Diana: (thinking) WTF?!

Mr. Lancer: Ok Alex, let me get this straight. You want to marry this girl that you just met last night?

Alex: (under spell) Yes.

Mr. Lancer: But last night you just gave me a huge speech about marrying some snotty girl you just met! And now look at you! What is wrong with you?!

Alex: Me and Desiree are to be married at sunset.

Mr. Lancer: I know. You said that ten times today.

Alex: We are to be married at sunset Lancer.

Mr. Lancer: I know!

Alex: Just making sure. (walks away with Desiree. Desiree looks over at Diana and smiles evilly)

Diana: (thinking) That bitch! (runs to her room crying)

(Cut to late afternoon as wedding ship starts to leave. Diana is sitting on the pier

crying. Julia and Zachary look on.)

Julia: Diana, stop the crying already! You're not a baby! Well maybe you are.

Diana: (smacks Julia)

Julia: Oh! So this is how you treat me after all we've done for you? Huh?!

Diana: (starts crying again)

Zachary: I don't think you're helping.

Julia: Shut up! Diana, listen. He found someone else. He apparently wasn't the one for you. Do you know what you do when someone isn't right for you? You move on! So get off your pathetic ass and move on!

Diana: (still crying)

Julia: Ugh! Why do I always wind up in your little schemes? This whole thing was a waste of time! Don't you think Diana? This prince guy was a waste of our valuable time!

Diana: (shakes her head and cries again)

Julia: How can you still like him?! He dumped you! Ugh!

(cut to Anthony flying around the ship. He sees Desiree through the window)

Desiree: (singing) What a lovely little bride I'll make, my dear I'll look divine

Things are working out according to my ultimate design

Soon I'll have that little mermaid and the ocean will be mine!

Anthony: (sees Vlad in the mirror) Holy crap! It's-It's Vlad! Vlad! Wait, Vlad? Vlad's a girl? That's so wrong on so many levels! I gotta tell Diana! (flies to Diana) Diana! I gotta-(runs into a pole)

Julia: Ha! Dork!

Anthony: Shut it! This is important! Alex is gonna marry Vlad!

Julia: What?

Anthony: That girl is Vlad in disguise!

Zachary: That is so wrong on so many levels!

Anthony: I know!

Julia: Are you sure about this?

Anthony: Have I ever been wrong?

Julia: Do you really want me to answer that?

Anthony: Well I'm right this time!

(Diana dives into the water and swims toward the ship)

Julia: What is she doing? Does she really want to get herself killed?

Zachary: Apparently.

Julia: Ok, Zachary, you go with Diana. Make sure she doesn't kill herself. I'm gonna go tell King Phantom. If I don't come back Anthony, tell Zachary he still owes me that five dollars.

Anthony: Ok. Well what do I do?

Julia: Are you serious?

Anthony: Yes! I want to help! Diana is my friend too!

Julia: Fine. Anthony, make sure you and Diana don't do anything stupid.

(cut to the wedding. Cujo bites Desiree's leg)

Desiree: Ow! Alex, your dog bit me!

Alex: Haha. Yeah.

Desiree: (groans)

Priest: Ok let's get this over with. Do you Alex take Desiree as your lawfully wedded wife for as long as you both shall live?

Alex: Uh…

Desiree: (glares at Alex)

Alex: Yeah.

Priest: Um ok then. And do you Desiree take-

Desiree: Yes! Just get this over with!

Priest: Um…yeah. Then by the power invested in me I-

(Diana hits Desiree over the head with a plate)

Diana: (thinking) Take that bitch!

Alex: Diana? What are you-

Diana: (grabs the shell necklace from Desiree and breaks it)

Desiree: Hey! That was $17. 50 right there! (The spell is broken and Desiree turns back into Vlad) Shit! Now look what you've done!

Diana: Shut up! Hey I can talk!

Alex: You can talk now?

Diana: I always could. But he took my voice away so I couldn't.

Alex: That basterd!

Diana: I know! And he tried to marry you so I couldn't so then I'd be his slave!

Alex: Wait, so what your saying is that I was about to marry some cross-dressing octopus guy?

Diana: Pretty much.

Alex: Wow. That's so messed up!

Vlad: No! YOU'RE messed up! All of ya'll are messed up!

Diana: Shut up you slimy freak! I won! I got my man you got nothing! Ha! I rock!

Alex: Yes you do.

Diana: (smiles)

Vlad: But you forgot something very important missy.

Diana: Oh really? And what might that be? (sees the sun setting) Oh. (turns back into a mermaid) Well this sucks.

Alex: You're a-a-

Diana: Yup.

Alex: So it wasn't just my imagination? I was right? YES! In your face Lancer!

Vlad: You won't be celebrating for long boy! (grabs Diana and jumps off the ship) See ya!

Diana: Let me go you creep!

Vlad: Shut up you good for nothing-

Danny: Well, well, well. Vlad Plasmius. It's been awhile.

Vlad: Ah, Danny Phantom. How have you been doing in my absence?

Danny: Better actually. Now let Diana go!

Vlad: Sorry, can't.

Danny: Why?

Vlad: She signed this contract. (takes out the contract) See?

Danny: (looks at it) Diana you idiot! I warned you about not reading the fine print!

Diana: But I hate the fine print! It's just so small and unnoticeable I don't even bother looking at it!

Danny: That's what they WANT you to do!

(cut to Alex rowing a little boat)

Mr. Lancer: Alex, you're not really going to try to get that girl back are you?

Alex: Lancer, she's the prettiest thing I've ever seen plus she not only listens to me she gets me. She actually gets me! What do you think I'm gonna do?!

Mr. Lancer: Ugh, you and your teenage hormones.

Alex: That's right!

(cut to Vlad and Danny)

Danny: Let Diana go Vlad! She's not gonna be your slave!

Vlad: Well I could trade Diana for something else or someone if you know what I mean.

Danny: No I don't and I'm afraid to ask.

Vlad: No not like that!

Danny: Fine Vlad, I'll be your slave.

Vlad: Yes!

Diana and Julia: What?

Danny: Yeah.

Vlad: Now just sign here and it's done.

Diana: Dad don't! I forbid you!

Danny: Shut up! I can do what I want!

Julia: And you wonder were she gets it from.

(Danny signs the contract and handcuffs appear on his wrists)

Danny: Well that was unexpected.

Vlad: (takes Danny's crown and triton) Yes! It's mine! It's all mine!

Diana: You selfish basterd!

Vlad: Shut up you little brat! I'm the king of the sea now and-Ah! (gets hit by a shot gun Alex fired at him)

Diana: Alex! You came back for me!

Vlad: Die! Die! DIE! (fires triton at Alex)

Alex: (grabs the Vulture ghosts and makes Vlad hit them instead of him)

Vlad: Oh…well that was unfortunate.

Diana: (grabs Alex's hand) Come on Hotty McSweetykins! (swims to the surface)

Alex: Hotty McSweetykins?

(Vlad grows a hundred feet tall)

Diana: Oh my gawd!

Vlad: I know! Isn't this amazing? I just saw this button on here that said 'grow' and now look at me! Being the king of the sea rocks!

Diana: You're not king of the sea! You're just a selfish tentacle guy who lives with his mom!

Vlad: What did you say to me?! (Starts a huge storm)

Alex: Why to go Diana.

Diana: Hey! I don't need this right now!

Vlad: (points triton at them) DIE!

Alex: Oh shit!

Vlad: (creates a whirlpool and knocks Diana into it)

Diana: Alex! Do something!

Alex: What do I do?

Diana: I don't know! Just do something!

(Alex swims over to a ship and climbs aboard. The sailors on the ship see him)

Alex: Uh hi. I'm taking over the ship okay?

Sailor: Uh…ok…

Alex: Thanks. (runs over to the wheel) It's days like these when I wish I paid attention to Mr. Lancer's boat driving speeches.

Vlad: So long sweety! (points the triton at Diana. Vlad sees Alex coming driving the ship. Alex tries to run into Vlad but misses)

Alex: Shit!

Vlad: Ha! You can't stop me you twerp!

Alex: (takes out a machine gun and fires at Vlad)

Vlad: …ow…(falls over and dies. The crown and triton falls in the water and lands next to Danny)

Danny: Hey! My stuff! (tries to pick then up but he is still handcuffed) Um…help?

(Fade to morning. Alex is standing on the beach looking at Diana who is sitting on a rock. They wave to each other. Alex beckons to Diana to come over and winks at her. Diana obeys and swims over)

Alex: (hugs her) Are you ok?

Diana: I'm fine.

Alex: Wow, it's hard to believe that what just happened was real.

Diana: For you maybe. That was pretty normal for me.

Alex: I can imagine. So you're really a mermaid?

Diana: Yup.

Alex: Well I don't care. I'm gonna tell Lancer to have us married as soon as possible.

Diana: We're 14. Isn't that illegal?

Alex: Diana this is Disney. Nothing is illegal.

Diana: But you have legs and I don't. This'll never work.

Julia: That's what I've been saying the whole time!

Diana: Shut up Julia! You aren't helping!

Danny: Maybe Julia isn't but maybe I can.

Diana: Whatcha talkin 'bout?

Danny: I could make you human forever…if you want…

Diana: Really? But…but I'd miss everybody too much.

Julia: Even me?

Diana: Let me rephrase that. I'd miss everybody but Julia.

Julia: (glares at Diana)

Alex: Well I did come up with something but it's stupid.

Diana: What?

(cut to Alex and Diana kissing on a ship on their wedding day)

Kelly: It's so beautiful! I promised myself I wouldn't cry! (sniffles)

Michael: Oh get a hold of yourself!

Diana: Ok Daddy, hit us!

Danny: (shoots Diana and Alex with his triton and turns them into merpeople)

Alex: Awesome!

Diana: I told you! (They dive off the ship and land in the water)

Alex: Honeymoon in the ocean?

Diana: Yup! Don't you love it?

Alex: It's better than I could have ever imagined. So where are we going?

Diana: Oh, I know this amazing hotel with this cute little lunch café. And then there's this amusement park with this petting zoo that we can go to. They have the cutest baby whales ever!

The End


End file.
